Sunday was Father's Day and hundreds of millions of people across the globe took time out to celebrate the contributions men have made to their families.  In my own South Bronx neighborhood, we hosted the 20th annual Father's Day Event, which drew thousands of people, easily more than any other community event during the year.  Let's face it, Dads are "in" these days.  In a generation, we've gone from a female-dominated family system to one that is far more egalitarian.  Fathers may not always know best but they know a lot.  Indeed, their participation in child-rearing has yielded an important influence over their children, from ethics and values to the proper way to dunk a basketball.

Study after study has indicated that children who grow up without their fathers have significant problems.  For example, Dads 4 Kids, a fathers' involvement organization, says fatherless children are a higher risk of substance abuse, behavioral problems, suicide and poor grades in school.  When fathers are present, children are less likely to become depressed, fail in school or experience problems in romantic relationships.

A common stereotype about fathers is that they only have interest in their sons.  Perhaps that is true for a minority of men but most fathers adore their daughters.  Girls need their dads.  In fact, there are entire websites and blogs dedicated to the subject!  Dr. Linda Neilsen, author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Want with Your Dad, says we live in a society that promotes more mother-daughter relationships than father-daughter relationships but the latter is very important in many respects.  In fact, she states, fathers provide girls with impact and influence in ways that mothers generally don't.  For example, fathers send messages to daughters about school and career success, how to have a satisfying and healthy relationship with a romantic partner, how to appropriately deal with male authority figures, how to maintain mental health and how to express anger "comfortably and appropriately" with men.  The father who takes time out to support his daughter's values, help her to develop into a healthy adult and learn how to navigate the complex world, gives her a critical head-start to life success.  I think about that every time I see my brother bonding with his 18-month old daughter.  What he does comes naturally to him but it will play a big part in her success in the world and I'm glad she has a dad who has made that investment since the day she was born. 

What about girls without fathers?  Are they somehow doomed?  I don't think so.  I grew up without my biological father.  While I think my life could have been better if he had been a consistent presence in my life, my mom did a lot of great work to prepare me for the world and ensure I had career and life success.  I was also fortunate to have outstanding male role models in my life who told me I was brilliant, that I could do anything I set my mind to and deserved the best from male partners.  It is harder, I have to admit, to learn to negotiate romantic relationships with men when you haven't always seen a healthy romantic relationship in action but that doesn't mean it's impossible.  And you know what?  It's never too late to build a relationship with your father and reap the benefits from it.  

Let's celebrate the importance of dads every day, not just one day out of the year!  Tonight, give your dad a hug and tell him what he means to you.  If you don't have a father, don't forget about all of the men who have contributed to your life.  Give them a hug or send them a letter.  Just let them know you care!

By Amal Hanifah Noor